Top 10 Ways To Win On Father’s Day (er, Month)
Ok, listen up you fabulous women – have you heard the joke of a kid asking his mum, “What’s the difference between Father’s Day and Mother’s Day?” to which the mother casually replies, “Oh honey, Father’s Day is basically the same, but you spend half as much.”
If this is materially true at your house...maybe you just need 10 fresh new ideas from a dad of three daughters as you prepare your kids for the big day? Over 1,350 dad points up for grabs so pay close attention.
1. At the next available family meal, thump your fist on the table and declare to all that the 3rd Sunday in June will henceforth be referred to as “The First Day of Father’s Month.” 20 points. Bonus 10 points if done while standing on a chair.
2. Father’s Month will last not a moment less than 30 days and include a wide range of dad-focused activities for all to enjoy — whether they like it or not. 50 points for 30-day family commitment.
3. When waking at 5am for a family flight, resist the temptation to question dad on why everyone needs to be at the gate four hours early. 10 points per child per flight.
4. Dads love to grill (and pretend it is complicated). Splash out and get him a Big Green Egg with matching apron and that bluetooth-thermometer-thingy so he gets a gadget + meat (#powercombo). 30 points.
5. Dads love framed photos of themselves with the kids doing something adventurous — this makes him feel more like a super-hero and less an ornery geezer barking at kids to stop leaving their UGGs all over the house. 30 points per frame.
6. Dads love to make a cool cocktail to impress those who swing by. It’s a modern-day version of his youth tinkering around in the garage with an old motorbike, but now with curious ingredients he also does not understand. Get him some cool barware. 40 points.
7. Dads could literally live on cheese, cured meats, olives, and nuts. One evening during Father’s Month, present him with an artfully prepared charcuterie board. 30 points. Extra 20 points when pairing it with a chilled Martini.
8. Dads dislike clutter and “things not in their place.” Dedicate a Sunday to purge the house of anything not nailed down. Big points for addressing that pile of forgotten Amazon returns from last year. 2 points per item removed (capped at 1,000 points).
9. Dads love golf. But for Pete’s sake don’t buy him any swing gimmicks from Instagram that will make his golf squad snicker. Get him a dozen personalized Titelist balls with supportive quotes like, “#1 Dad” or “PGA here we come” or “Kids standing by excited to hear about each shot after your round.” 25 points.
10. If no photos exist to frame in #5, use photoshop to put dad’s head onto Chris Hemsworth’s ridiculous body. 15 points
Bon chance!
David